Rule #103: Push Your Child to Join a Gang


Helmut? I don't need no stinking helmut.

Does your little guy still have that weird facial tick and irritable bowel?

He is destined for life’s fringes, good people, but you can help him feel included right now. Gang life usually gets a bad rap because of petty things like extortion, money laundering, fraud, death and mayhem. But it takes a village of young thugs to make all of this happen.

That’s where your son comes in.

Gangs have notoriously low standards when it comes to acceptance: There are no standardized tests, no physical fitness tests, and basically no litmus for anything other than having an empty canvas of skin for some kick-ass tats and unruly facial hair.

You make the introduction in, say, a futon store parking lot, and the gang will take it from there. It’s like having free day care for life…and you won’t have to make space on the fridge for all of those crappy art projects.


  1. yareli says:

    I have never liked gangs, but the way you picture it doesn’t seem like a bad life style. I get my kid would love it.

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