Rule #100: Blame Someone Else’s Child for Pool Poop

pool poop

You gotta be shitting me. Is that another floater?

Remember the four pounds of dried apricots you forced little Jamie to eat for lunch?

Well, they staged an ugly coup in your child’s colon, broke down the doors to the anal palace, and came screaming into the previously tranquil kingdom of the neighborhood pool’s 2 feet area.

The resulting spasm of fetid floatsam cleared the pool witin seconds, leaving Jamie both ashamed and embarrassed.

Of course, you always want to shield your child from shame, especially when it’s just as easy to blame someone else.

Quick action is essential. Grab your poopy child, thrust him close to your chest as if to shield hom from the filth, and declare out loud that you “cannot believe the irresponsible barbarians” who call themselves your neighbors. Add the requisite: “What is wrong with you people?!”

A haughty approach is important here, as you turn on your heels to leave.

It getting close to your child’s snack time anyway: prunes with a black-bean purée dip.

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