Rule #68: Strippers, Feel Free to Enjoy “Take Your Child to Work Day”

take your child to work day strippers

Just because we're staring, doesn't mean we're liking.

All right, all right, so you do a little dancing at a little club downtown run by a green-card carrying Russian who wears a red sweat suit. What’s the big deal? Seems like everyone is doing it.

After all, the Russian is a proud entrepreneur, and he’s built “Yurgi’s House of Shiny Poles” into a beacon of…well, shiny poles. He’s proud—and you should be damn proud, too.

Kids might be confused by the field trip to your “office,” but there are easy approaches to educate and energize the dark, cobwebbed part of their brains that find it unappealing to visit places that smell like a combination of bong water and mint dental floss.

Children Ask the Funniest Questions During “Take Your Child to Work Day,” Such As…

Little Bradley: “Mommy, you sure sweat a lot at work—I thought you worked out at the gym?”

You: “That’s right, Bradley, I do sweat a lot. This is kind of like my gym. In fact, I saw on Oprah that pole dancing is the fastest-growing workout routine in the country.”

Little Bradley: “But why did that one man with the eye patch keep giving you one-dollar bills?”

You: “Because he liked the way I worked out. It actually made him sweat, too. See, Bradley, everybody wins.”

Little Bradley: “Mommy, this place reminds me of Pirates of the Caribbean—it’s scary. I want to go home. Remember, I have a spelling test tomorrow. Can you help?”

You: “Um, sure. Didn’t Yurgi give you his spelling test earlier?”

Little Bradley: “Yes, mommy, but they aren’t my spelling words. Yurgi made me spell “antibacterial spray” and “Valtrex.” Why is Yurgi giving me those words?”

You: “Um, those are Russian words. See? You even learned a little Russian today, sweetheart. Now, go hang out at the bar until mommy does one more workout. I noticed the man with the patch just returned from the ATM.”

Comments

  1. jason says:

    hmm, how about “kids with stripper moms, bring your mom to school” where was that?

  2. Silly Dad says:

    When my wife takes our son to the club with her – usually when I have an important business meeting with 7 other guys that involves clay chips and an octagonal table – I encourage her to use him kinda like an organ grinder uses his monkey, by running around and collecting the tips. But I don’t let her dress him up in the little outfit. That would just be degrading.

  3. robin says:

    theres nothing wrong with stripping to provide for your kids, if thats what you have to do…. you deserve respect for doing it. your kids dont belong in that setting, but theres nothing wrongh with being a stripper

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