Rule #101: Use Your Children to Test Electrical Outlets

child-test-outlets

Daddy! How much longer before I get to glow in the dark?

Electricians, much like doctors, are overrated and expensive, which means you can usually do their easy and relatively safe work yourself.

You have never been afraid of strong electrical currents, but you do have to support your family and couldn’t afford to be out of work if, in the unlikely event, an accident with actual, you know, electricity should occur.

So hedge your bets and let your children bear the brunt of testing all the rewiring you’ve done in the new family room.

Some of you alarmist and “safety-first” parents are probably scratching your heads and saying, “That doesn’t even sound safe for barnyard animals, much less the child who I make wear a helmet in the tub. What exactly is wong with you?”

Well, if you think there’s something wrong with building a child’s character, then we guess we are wrong to teach our kids to salute flags, assist the elderly across busy intersections, and make thank-you quilts for veterans returning from overseas.

Oh, so now you don’t see how these are in any way related, and you believe we’re using a clever rhetorical flourish as a diversion? Absurd. Perhaps you need to look more deeply inside and ask yourself what type of American you are…

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