The Prom Chaperone

Because no one wants to have to go to prom alone.

Because no one wants to have to go to prom alone.

via Reddit.

Trick or Treat … or Therapy

halloween-kid

Well, at least he won't be whining about you taking him around the neighborhood for candy.

Rule #106: Bring Beer to Back-to-School Night

beer-goggles

Your future looks a hell of a lot brighter through beer goggles.

Let’s just get this out of the way: You have a tendency to do the wrong thing.

And there are very few opportunities in life to do something right, actually feel good about it, and get a nice buzz going at the same time.

Which is why it’s critical to bring a case of brew to your child’s back-to-school night. [Read more...]

Baby Photos are for Babies

kid-tattoo

Because permanent ink means permanent love.

Source: Funlobby

The Beginning of the End

first-day-kindergarten

And it's all downhill from here, buddy.

Rule #105: Ignore Your Child’s Anger Issues

ignore-childs-anger-issues

That's not a purr. That's a cry for help.

You’ve probably noticed little Samantha requesting more raw meat with her meals, especially breakfast.

It would be foolish of you to turn down these requests. You see, Samantha is growing, learning and adapting to the world around her, and that world often needs the fuel of uncooked sirloin.

Which brings us to Samantha’s alleged anger issues. [Read more...]

Just the Two of Us

matching-mother-daughter-outfits

Only two things in this world are permanent: our hair, and our love.

Also see:

Rule #104: Feed Your Child Soap

feed child soap

After the initial sting you'll start to get numb to the pain. Just like real life.

We’ve heard about barbaric parents who have “washed their child’s mouth out” with soap for any number of verbal infractions.

But this is like inserting a Lego in your puppy’s ass for soiling your carpet…which doesn’t work, as we’ve learned through, um, friends who have told us as much. (Seriously, we don’t even own Legos.)

Feeding your kid soap is a kinder, gentler form of punishment. It can be used for any number of transgressions (rudeness, poor grades, trying to stuff Legos up your puppy’s ass), yet we’ve found it works best when used in conjunction with a clean soul. [Read more...]

Parental Supervision: Not Always Required

parental-supervision

It's all downhill from here, kid.

Rule #103: Push Your Child to Join a Gang

kid-join-gang

Helmut? I don't need no stinking helmut.

Does your little guy still have that weird facial tick and irritable bowel?

He is destined for life’s fringes, good people, but you can help him feel included right now. Gang life usually gets a bad rap because of petty things like extortion, money laundering, fraud, death and mayhem. But it takes a village of young thugs to make all of this happen.

That’s where your son comes in. [Read more...]